Jehi's not dead!
I'm an emotional rollercoaster but I assure you that I'm fine. No, I haven't killed anyone. Yes, I'm still a walking contradiction. To be honest, I've been trying to be productive in other ways or at least, I keep telling that to myself.
I closed Facebook over a year ago and recently, decided to get rid of Instagram as well. No, nothing drastic pushed me into that decision. Yes, stalking exes and coworkers will be harder but I'll survive. If I'm going to provide a reason as to why I did it, it happened after talking with one of my good friends and realizing how much time I was wasting on social media. What's the point anyway? We try to portray our lives on social media as a mix of perfection and spontaneity and for what? For a like? For a comment? I mean, I'm pretty sure at this point everyone's tired of my face, my cats and Boomerangs of my record collection. We need to get over ourselves and understand that we're not that interesting and life is pretty routinary.
During this time, I started coding and playing the bass again. I want to make clear that these changes lasted a total of seven days. How do I know? Because that's how long the trial in CodeAcademy is. I've been cooking almost every day and even though I incline myself to healthier options, there are days like yesterday where I end up frying beer battered shrimps. Either way, I'm really fucking good at it (felt the need to share that).
My overthinking has been outstanding but surprisingly it lets me sleep. If I watch or read things during the day, I will have the craziest dreams featuring some of those things that night. I've been taking online quizzes from commitment phobia to Are you a sociopath? in my path of trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I've come to the conclusion that I have way too many emotions in this 5' 3.5" body to be the last.
To conclude, last week I wrote down the number of a therapist and I've been telling myself since last Friday that I will call her during my lunch break. Maybe tomorrow will be that day. As you can see, nothing has changed and the ironic part is that most likely I will share this entry over social media but as explained before, I'm a walking contradiction so let's take it easy.
I closed Facebook over a year ago and recently, decided to get rid of Instagram as well. No, nothing drastic pushed me into that decision. Yes, stalking exes and coworkers will be harder but I'll survive. If I'm going to provide a reason as to why I did it, it happened after talking with one of my good friends and realizing how much time I was wasting on social media. What's the point anyway? We try to portray our lives on social media as a mix of perfection and spontaneity and for what? For a like? For a comment? I mean, I'm pretty sure at this point everyone's tired of my face, my cats and Boomerangs of my record collection. We need to get over ourselves and understand that we're not that interesting and life is pretty routinary.
During this time, I started coding and playing the bass again. I want to make clear that these changes lasted a total of seven days. How do I know? Because that's how long the trial in CodeAcademy is. I've been cooking almost every day and even though I incline myself to healthier options, there are days like yesterday where I end up frying beer battered shrimps. Either way, I'm really fucking good at it (felt the need to share that).
My overthinking has been outstanding but surprisingly it lets me sleep. If I watch or read things during the day, I will have the craziest dreams featuring some of those things that night. I've been taking online quizzes from commitment phobia to Are you a sociopath? in my path of trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I've come to the conclusion that I have way too many emotions in this 5' 3.5" body to be the last.
To conclude, last week I wrote down the number of a therapist and I've been telling myself since last Friday that I will call her during my lunch break. Maybe tomorrow will be that day. As you can see, nothing has changed and the ironic part is that most likely I will share this entry over social media but as explained before, I'm a walking contradiction so let's take it easy.
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