PMS Diaries

I twisted my ankle two hours ago... I started writing this entry on April 26th and here we are, it only took me two weeks and a half. Greetings, muffins! Iiiiiit's Monday and it feels like one too. I had a couple of beers yesterday celebrating the mamas around me and as usual, I'm regretting it. Also, guess what? Yes, you're right! I'm fucking ovulating. #Blessed . But let's go back to my ankle. It was a Thursday afternoon, I was minding my business at the office and forgot to close the pet gate. A cat walked in, I freaked out, tried to chase him away but my leg was asleep so I kind of sprained my ankle. It was terrible! My legs weren't shaved and I had a three-week-old pedicure gracing my toes. I waited around seven hours for Ryan to drive me to the hospital cause "it wasn't that serious" and "it could wait". I ended up with some ornamental crutches, bandages and a fascinating medical bill for my collection. I'm still in pain an...

Not really but it feels like it... Hellooooo! It's gloomy, it's Monday and us common folks needed to work. I've been on a drinking spree since last Wednesday after the pizza incident and it sounds way more intense than what it's been. The wildest night consisted of five beers, so, it's not that bad. Is that something an alcoholic would've said? Do you feel that after your period is over, you start overanalyzing your life? Specifically, your life decisions? Was it pushed by THAT pimple on my nose? Yes, that one that decided to visit after the blood fest came to an end. Has it gotten worse since I discovered the Post Menstrual Syndrome? Like, yeah, now it has a name and it's something real so it will be an excuse. Is it the weather? I'm currently in Cincinnati, Ohio and I don't think it will ever get warm. It's either snow, rain or both with an average of 30 something degrees. Afterall, it has been confirmed that weather has a negative effect o...

Except yourself... Greetings from hell! Welcome to the first official day of my period. What a day to be alive! Period farts and diarrhea? Yes, please! I called off work, I've been in bed all day and used a bar of soap as a bath bomb mistakenly. Yes, I will love to talk crap about Ryan but aside from the three bath bombs (one of them was a soap as explained before), he bought me food, Midol and carrot cake. I can't say shit. How are women capable of having a normal life while their uterus is exploding and starting WWIII inside of them? As I mentioned before, this is a monthly struggle for me. Some months aren't as bad but it compensates with the overthinking and the craziness. It's a combination of frustration and not being capable of controlling what's going on and for a control freak, that's bullshit. The only way that I can seize the pain is with pain medication. And on a real note, the statistics of prescription painkiller overdoses among women are gett...

Aaaand it's Monday! I can't emphasize how much I hate that I've become the kind of person that hates Mondays but yeah, I do. Hello there, beautiful people! It's been a while and I'm officially PMSing. You're probably thinking that the blog will finally make sense but sadly, it seems like it won't. Quite frankly, I don't feel deranged, in fact, I've been getting along with Ryan. We even went out to brunch without fighting and if you don't believe that's progress, this is coming from the couple that had a mirror smashed after an argument that started with not knowing where to eat. PMS translates to cravings, crying over stupid shit and just feeling uncomfortable with your boobs. It's this simple, when you have biiiig ol' boobies, periods are your enemy and there's no such thing as "My boobs look so good!" kind of day. Your breasts are the main source of that lower back pain that makes you wonder why you're alive. Bu...

I mean... I'm guessing you guys missed me? Hopefully! If not... Fuck you! JK JK or am I? My mom had surgery on Thursday and it's been all about her these past days. The surgery lasted around seven hours and I stayed the night with her, needless to say, I'm still damn tired. Everything went fantastic and she's recovering quickly so shout out to all of you that asked/sent messages, we really appreciated them. Yesterday, we celebrated my parents 40th wedding anniversary and honestly, that's a fucking long time to be with someone, especially with my dad. That woman seriously deserves a Nobel Prize.  A couple of hours later, while we were laying in bed I asked Ry if he thought we'll last that long and he didn't say a word. It's all about the little things, folks! I mean, I'm surprised we've lasted this long but I don't say it to his face (until now)! In all honesty, I know how hard relationships can be even when you try to portray them as per...

Mondays... Mondays usually suck balls but the Monday after Daylight savings is the worsssst. Hello, everyone! I haven't posted in a while because honestly, I'm still trying to figure out the dynamic of the blog. Is it going to be while I'm on my PMS/Red monster days? Is it going to be a diary? As of today, only Jesus knows. Is it normal to carry some of the hormonal disbalance and craziness of the periods even when it ends? According to my own Google research, that's kind of a thing and it's often referred as Post Menstrual Syndrome. Holy fuck! CAN I LIVE?! The symptoms are pretty much the same but not as physical as the PMS/Periods. I.e you won't have tender breasts and lower back pain but you will have mood swings and a fuck ton of erratic thoughts. But wait! A balanced diet and exercising can help you with that. Now, let's be honest, if you're like me (some will say kind of a lunatic mixed up with a masochist) you won't do shit. You'll just...