PMS Diaries

Not really but it feels like it... Hellooooo! It's gloomy, it's Monday and us common folks needed to work. I've been on a drinking spree since last Wednesday after the pizza incident and it sounds way more intense than what it's been. The wildest night consisted of five beers, so, it's not that bad. Is that something an alcoholic would've said? Do you feel that after your period is over, you start overanalyzing your life? Specifically, your life decisions? Was it pushed by THAT pimple on my nose? Yes, that one that decided to visit after the blood fest came to an end. Has it gotten worse since I discovered the Post Menstrual Syndrome? Like, yeah, now it has a name and it's something real so it will be an excuse. Is it the weather? I'm currently in Cincinnati, Ohio and I don't think it will ever get warm. It's either snow, rain or both with an average of 30 something degrees. Afterall, it has been confirmed that weather has a negative effect o...

And I ain't lying! Hi! You know when you have some leftovers in the fridge and you've been thinking about them all afternoon? You had an early lunch but it doesn't matter because once you're home, you can warm that shit up and enjoy it. You walked in, opened the fridge and the pizza is motherfucking gone...  — "Hey, did you eat the pizza?" — "Yeah!" — "All of it?" — "Yeah! Why? I wasn't supposed to?" IM ON MY FUCKING PERIOD AND FOOD IS MY NUMBER ONE CONCERN! I mean, after all, I bought that for myself, on my date night with myself to watch Girls Trip by myself. You weren't even part of the equation. What makes you think it's okay to eat what was left of the damn pizza!?  After cleaning around, cause you know, even that is hard, I noticed that one of the cats was locked in the office. Folks, I've talked about my fucking office before. This is my sanctuary! I've done some "changes" and I ...

Except yourself... Greetings from hell! Welcome to the first official day of my period. What a day to be alive! Period farts and diarrhea? Yes, please! I called off work, I've been in bed all day and used a bar of soap as a bath bomb mistakenly. Yes, I will love to talk crap about Ryan but aside from the three bath bombs (one of them was a soap as explained before), he bought me food, Midol and carrot cake. I can't say shit. How are women capable of having a normal life while their uterus is exploding and starting WWIII inside of them? As I mentioned before, this is a monthly struggle for me. Some months aren't as bad but it compensates with the overthinking and the craziness. It's a combination of frustration and not being capable of controlling what's going on and for a control freak, that's bullshit. The only way that I can seize the pain is with pain medication. And on a real note, the statistics of prescription painkiller overdoses among women are gett...

April Fools! I mean, if you can, that's amazing. I can't though. Wanna know why? Because as I was peeing this morning lacking energy and will to live, it decided to visit me. According to my Period Tracker, it was supposed to start yesterday but that would've meant twice in March. In the end, it's Easter and my boy G died for that kind of stuff. Talking about that, on Friday I was talking to my Sales Rep and he said "It should be dead in the afternoon", talking about the workload. My dumb ass replied, "yeah, no pun intended", followed up by an awkward silence. Since I assume you guys are pretty smart I won't explain the "joke" but I want to point out we're on Spring Break and Friday was "Good Friday". Yesterday, I asked on Twitter how can you be in a relationship and not gain weight? This doesn't apply to couples under 25 years old or if you've been with the person for less than a year. You get comfortable, eati...

Am I being dramatic? Probably. Does it feel like hell? Yes, it does. Greetings from my new iMac, yes Ryan, I said MY iMac (Please refer to my domestic partner's social platform for more details). I feel like I always have an excuse for being absent but seriously, work has been insane. I miss those days of being "fake busy" but I'm positive that by next week they'll be back. Actually, next week I'm getting my period so taking a wild guess here, I don't think it'll get better. Let's just relax, breathe and live one day at a time. As your normal psycho, obsessive twenty-something woman, I like to lurk. If you're smarter than me, you know that 9/10, you're going to find something (El que busca, encuentra). I trust my boyfriend, I know he's intelligent enough to not mess with my very stereotypical latina woman side but I'm nosey. For some reason, I like looking into the past. How do I get all the pieces together in order to know why...

Aaaand it's Monday! I can't emphasize how much I hate that I've become the kind of person that hates Mondays but yeah, I do. Hello there, beautiful people! It's been a while and I'm officially PMSing. You're probably thinking that the blog will finally make sense but sadly, it seems like it won't. Quite frankly, I don't feel deranged, in fact, I've been getting along with Ryan. We even went out to brunch without fighting and if you don't believe that's progress, this is coming from the couple that had a mirror smashed after an argument that started with not knowing where to eat. PMS translates to cravings, crying over stupid shit and just feeling uncomfortable with your boobs. It's this simple, when you have biiiig ol' boobies, periods are your enemy and there's no such thing as "My boobs look so good!" kind of day. Your breasts are the main source of that lower back pain that makes you wonder why you're alive. Bu...

When is Chinese Food a good answer? Probably when you're laying in bed not wanting to cook or leave the house. Hello, sunflower seeds! It's Wednesday, it's snowing, I'm in my third cup of coffee and eating one of those awful breakfast burritos that I enjoy. As you remember, on Monday I talked all this crap about trying to eat better, feeling bloated and trying to seek some motivation but it was all talk, as usual. I've been eating terribly, from sushi to breakfast at 8:00PM and last but not least, Lo Mein in bed. How do I have the nerve to complain about gaining weight if I keep doing that kind of shit? I'm your average twenty-something that spends most of their income on gas and food. Even when we do the "adult" thing and spend over $300 on groceries, we end up at Chipotle because we're too hangry or too lazy to cook. To be honest with you, I just don't like cooking! It's not that I don't know how to or I'm terrible at it, simpl...