The male brain doesn't know what common sense is

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And I ain't lying!

Hi! You know when you have some leftovers in the fridge and you've been thinking about them all afternoon? You had an early lunch but it doesn't matter because once you're home, you can warm that shit up and enjoy it. You walked in, opened the fridge and the pizza is motherfucking gone... 
— "Hey, did you eat the pizza?"
— "Yeah!"
— "All of it?"
— "Yeah! Why? I wasn't supposed to?"
IM ON MY FUCKING PERIOD AND FOOD IS MY NUMBER ONE CONCERN! I mean, after all, I bought that for myself, on my date night with myself to watch Girls Trip by myself. You weren't even part of the equation. What makes you think it's okay to eat what was left of the damn pizza!? 
After cleaning around, cause you know, even that is hard, I noticed that one of the cats was locked in the office. Folks, I've talked about my fucking office before. This is my sanctuary! I've done some "changes" and I don't want the cats here because you know what you get when you mix cats and furniture, right? A shithole! So anyway, I asked politely (I know it seems surreal): 
— "Hey! Can you please make sure that the cats are locked out of the office?
— "Sure, babe"
Well, "Sure, babe" didn't happen because there was a fat cat trapped in here. 
Am I being dramatic? Probably! Am I making a big deal of something stupid? You're damn sure I am! But why is it that men just can't comprehend basic requests? Is it deep down a rebellion towards their moms? How many of you get from time to time as a comeback the classic "OK, mom!" from your significant other? Well, if you stop acting like a child, I'll stop acting like your mom. 
You know what pisses me off, though? When we fight is over stupid shit, we never fight over serious topics and that's even more infuriating. 
I'm done, I'm drinking a beer and I'm feeling buzzed. While I'm trashing Ry, he's making dinner and I'm probably feeling a little bit guilty. Also, I just noticed a coffee stain on my desk and it clearly wasn't me. 
I promise I will do more research on male behavior and share it with you guys, sister to sister. We can do this!
Current situation

Update: He’s mad at me and I don’t know why.
Disclaimer: Apparently I can't say my office or my desk, both are Ryan's property (or his mom's).

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