Can you imagine a month without your period?

April Fools!

I mean, if you can, that's amazing. I can't though. Wanna know why? Because as I was peeing this morning lacking energy and will to live, it decided to visit me. According to my Period Tracker, it was supposed to start yesterday but that would've meant twice in March. In the end, it's Easter and my boy G died for that kind of stuff. Talking about that, on Friday I was talking to my Sales Rep and he said "It should be dead in the afternoon", talking about the workload. My dumb ass replied, "yeah, no pun intended", followed up by an awkward silence. Since I assume you guys are pretty smart I won't explain the "joke" but I want to point out we're on Spring Break and Friday was "Good Friday". Yesterday, I asked on Twitter how can you be in a relationship and not gain weight? This doesn't apply to couples under 25 years old or if you've been with the person for less than a year. You get comfortable, eating healthy is not a priority and those gentrified tacos are always a great answer. In my experience (what I've seen on social media), there comes a phase where the couple gets tired of being fat and starts working out together. When does that phase start? I like to complain about my weight (a lot!) but I make zero efforts in directing myself to a healthier lifestyle. I mean, I try to eat as healthy as possible during my lunch and that's why Panera is my homie but by the time I get home, sometimes ordering pizza is a great way of avoiding cooking. Did I mention how much I hate cooking? Cause I fucking do! Guys, it takes a long time! I make everything from scratch and between the chopping, the prepping and the seasoning, it takes like an hour (Remember, it's me here, I may be exaggerating). By the time I'm done and we sit down to eat, it's 8' o clock, therefore, too late. I stick to that excuse and that's why Ryan does most of the cooking even though he prefers mine (shout out to Goya!). There has been a couple of times where we've worked out together but I hate it. Mostly because Ry is telling me what to do and that irritates me. I know he has my best interest at heart but it's kind of conflictive for me.
Back when I moved to Ohio and was living that single life, I started going to the gym with my sister and my niece. This was the first time in my twenty-seven years on this earth that I visited a gym. We actually signed a contract for a year that deep down we knew it was a bad decision. I remember that the week we started I got my period and I was doing the whole "OMG! Excercise totally helps with the cramps." By the next month, my period was the excuse to skip it because "I was dying in a puddle of blood".
I really miss my old metabolism. For my twenty-first birthday, I had a granola bar diet that consisted of eating only granola bars except for one "real" meal (Below is a picture of the results). If I do that now, most likely I will die of starvation and gain thirty extra pounds in the process.

I am lazy! I don't have any issues admitting it. I know that working out and eating healthy is good for you and once you start seeing results, it kicks your motivation but I don't like doing it. And fucking Instagram, man! The "Explore" tab is full of fit models, before and after, she's 62 and ripped, what's your excuse? I end up feeling kind of sad but yeah, I'm lazy and that's my excuse. No sugarcoating here. 

In reality, I do want to lose weight in a healthful way and will love to do it with my boo thang as a motivation/coach. Who am I kidding here? I give myself this talk as soon as I start feeling bloated and fat. Fuck you, period! No, but for real, it's only downhill from here, might as well work on yourself now before it's too late. You know, like those New Year resolutions? Where are they now? Are we close to that summer bod?

P.S I wanted to show you guys my office just because I love it and there's where the magic happens.

What!? I didn't crop anyone!