PMS Diaries

Am I being dramatic? Probably. Does it feel like hell? Yes, it does. Greetings from my new iMac, yes Ryan, I said MY iMac (Please refer to my domestic partner's social platform for more details). I feel like I always have an excuse for being absent but seriously, work has been insane. I miss those days of being "fake busy" but I'm positive that by next week they'll be back. Actually, next week I'm getting my period so taking a wild guess here, I don't think it'll get better. Let's just relax, breathe and live one day at a time. As your normal psycho, obsessive twenty-something woman, I like to lurk. If you're smarter than me, you know that 9/10, you're going to find something (El que busca, encuentra). I trust my boyfriend, I know he's intelligent enough to not mess with my very stereotypical latina woman side but I'm nosey. For some reason, I like looking into the past. How do I get all the pieces together in order to know why...

Aaaand it's Monday! I can't emphasize how much I hate that I've become the kind of person that hates Mondays but yeah, I do. Hello there, beautiful people! It's been a while and I'm officially PMSing. You're probably thinking that the blog will finally make sense but sadly, it seems like it won't. Quite frankly, I don't feel deranged, in fact, I've been getting along with Ryan. We even went out to brunch without fighting and if you don't believe that's progress, this is coming from the couple that had a mirror smashed after an argument that started with not knowing where to eat. PMS translates to cravings, crying over stupid shit and just feeling uncomfortable with your boobs. It's this simple, when you have biiiig ol' boobies, periods are your enemy and there's no such thing as "My boobs look so good!" kind of day. Your breasts are the main source of that lower back pain that makes you wonder why you're alive. Bu...

When is Chinese Food a good answer? Probably when you're laying in bed not wanting to cook or leave the house. Hello, sunflower seeds! It's Wednesday, it's snowing, I'm in my third cup of coffee and eating one of those awful breakfast burritos that I enjoy. As you remember, on Monday I talked all this crap about trying to eat better, feeling bloated and trying to seek some motivation but it was all talk, as usual. I've been eating terribly, from sushi to breakfast at 8:00PM and last but not least, Lo Mein in bed. How do I have the nerve to complain about gaining weight if I keep doing that kind of shit? I'm your average twenty-something that spends most of their income on gas and food. Even when we do the "adult" thing and spend over $300 on groceries, we end up at Chipotle because we're too hangry or too lazy to cook. To be honest with you, I just don't like cooking! It's not that I don't know how to or I'm terrible at it, simpl...

I mean... I'm guessing you guys missed me? Hopefully! If not... Fuck you! JK JK or am I? My mom had surgery on Thursday and it's been all about her these past days. The surgery lasted around seven hours and I stayed the night with her, needless to say, I'm still damn tired. Everything went fantastic and she's recovering quickly so shout out to all of you that asked/sent messages, we really appreciated them. Yesterday, we celebrated my parents 40th wedding anniversary and honestly, that's a fucking long time to be with someone, especially with my dad. That woman seriously deserves a Nobel Prize.  A couple of hours later, while we were laying in bed I asked Ry if he thought we'll last that long and he didn't say a word. It's all about the little things, folks! I mean, I'm surprised we've lasted this long but I don't say it to his face (until now)! In all honesty, I know how hard relationships can be even when you try to portray them as per...

Men, huh? Greetings, peeps! I don't want to be your typical women stating that men suck or that they are the worst (even though that's the case sometimes) but I want to talk about those in my life. I've always been that girl that gets along better with guys (insert the meme of the woman with the hotdogs in her mouth) and I've still managed to make poor dating choices. I'm part of a group chat with my "guy" friends and I've learned some fascinating things about those around us that carry a penis. There's a ban on "likes" on hot girls Instagram pictures, boosting egos and the eternal "personality is better than a pretty face" debate. I'm an asshole, everyone knows this, I'm a smart ass, I'm sarcastic and I like a good fight. As a matter of fact, I like to push their buttons until they curse me (Hola, Monchis!) but we've learned to not take it personally (I think they don't?). Naturally, they have pretty go...

Mondays... Mondays usually suck balls but the Monday after Daylight savings is the worsssst. Hello, everyone! I haven't posted in a while because honestly, I'm still trying to figure out the dynamic of the blog. Is it going to be while I'm on my PMS/Red monster days? Is it going to be a diary? As of today, only Jesus knows. Is it normal to carry some of the hormonal disbalance and craziness of the periods even when it ends? According to my own Google research, that's kind of a thing and it's often referred as Post Menstrual Syndrome. Holy fuck! CAN I LIVE?! The symptoms are pretty much the same but not as physical as the PMS/Periods. I.e you won't have tender breasts and lower back pain but you will have mood swings and a fuck ton of erratic thoughts. But wait! A balanced diet and exercising can help you with that. Now, let's be honest, if you're like me (some will say kind of a lunatic mixed up with a masochist) you won't do shit. You'll just...

I'm a Delicate Fucking Flower Or something like that... ¡Hoooola! Today is the last day of  #SharkWeek and I couldn't be happier. I'm already feeling normal and by normal I mean not crying about absolutely everything. Tomorrow is Friday and even though it's the struggle weekend A.K.A I'm not getting paid until next week, there are reasons to be happy. The most fabulous and strongest lady I've ever met, finished her chemotherapy last week and she’s ready for surgery. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer back in July and two months later, Hurricane María hit Puerto Rico. She was supposed to start her treatment a week after the hurricane but for self-explanatory reasons, she ended up moving to good ol' Ohio with my sister. I'm stubborn like my mother but I wish I could have just a pinch of her strength and courage, she's brave, a smart ass and just plain incredible. Even when the side effects of the chemos were being physical and harming her, she ...

Heeeeello, Yesterday was a mess, I was a mess, things at work were a mess and I was having an intense late 20's crisis that a total stranger made better. That's the weird thing about life, sometimes someone you don't know suddenly with a smile or a hello can improve your day (this is a perfect example of how emotional I've been). So, I won't go into details about my work life for obvious reasons but it's your typical office job, Monday to Friday from 8-5; not really exciting but it pays the bills and it has the tendency of stressing me out even though I try really hard to avoid it. These past few days, have been an emotional roller coaster, I've been sentimental about almost anything and it's both embarrassing and infuriating. It has reached the point where I tell myself, "Bitch, get your shit together and just stop!" and it gets better for a couple of minutes then we're back in the ride. Honestly, I don't know why this period has be...

Oh hi, Mark! Ugh! Isn't working on your period lovely? Spending eight hours sitting in your chair, feeling uncomfortable cause there's a chance that any minute now you'll have a bloody accident? It sure is! Speaking of accidents, one of my favorite memories was back in middle school rushing to the principal's office to call my mom because the back of my uniform's skirt was covered in blood due to a pad malfunction. I was surrounded by teenagers and it honestly felt like the worst day of my young life; but hey, being a woman is awesome even if you don't realize it until you're in your late 20's. Sorry for losing track, we're supposed to talk about food, cravings, the endless debate of not knowing what the fuck to eat, and getting into a huge fight with your boyfriend because he won't decide for you.  I was talking to my friends the other day about what they referred to as "the day they knew the devil was real" and said devil "dr...

Hola hola, It's me, your favorite menstrual sociopath soulmate. At the end of my last blog, I told you guys about how my boo thang decided to get drunk instead of taking care of my needs, as we know, that should've been a priority... but it wasn't. Let's go back to 2016, after my surgery, two weeks of house arrest for recovery and spending the last couple of months with someone that didn't really deserve it, I decided to download Bumble (yes, the online dating app) and started swiping away. At first, it was really entertaining and I honestly didn't think something serious would've come out of this but I did it anyway and there I met Ry. What actually caught my eye was that he had a cat in one of the pictures and that he actually asked for a 24-hour extension (if you're familiar with the app you know what I'm talking about), he didn't waste any time and invited me over right away (red flag) and I kindly declined the offer. I did tell him he sho...

Hello there,  Maybe you are familiar with the #PMSDiaries  hashtag born on a Facebook status a couple of years ago, it usually let the world know how the common human stupidity was starting to become unbearable, this was obviously a sign that the Pre Menstrual Symptom decided to visit...yet again. Let's be real, I didn't "invent" the hashtag but it became part of my lifestyle and those around me, probably the reason why I decided to start this blog adventure. So... Do we need an introduction? I'm your typical 29-year-old woman, who had issues with her period since it decided to knock on my uterus's doors; I was only 12 years old when suddenly at my Titi Luca's house "el gallo me cantó" after years of using my sister's pads and wasting them for fun's sake. On that first year, I was hospitalized once because I was bleeding nonstop for a whole month, I was anemic, my hemoglobin at 6 and the doctors didn't know what the fuck was going o...